There is this something about love, about friendship - this something which I've identified as vulnerability. When we are insecure (or/if because) we've been hurt before by friends, family, lovers...there is a tendency to hide ourselves. We hide who we are so that we don't get hurt...because when we are rejected for living as we know, it is easier to hide so that the rebukes stop. I've experienced this and it hurts now to talk about it. I've felt my trust and confidence betrayed. Sometimes the worst betrayal, is when the deceiver is in my past. Or in my heart, still there. Deceiving with fantasy. Then, if that fantasy is projected onto a real person and they reject you...or reject who you pretend to be, in your fantasy, the pain doubles. To have true relationships we must feel comfortable with who we are, at least comfortable enough to show who we really are - to be vulnerable to criticism, to rejection. Otherwise we always feel like they don't know us,...
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